Why I Forgive Carl Icahn and Bill Ackman

I'm just writing this column to tell Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn: I forgive you.

It worked for Ackman. He called Icahn the other day to say he forgave him, according to the Wall Street Journal. And Icahn reciprocated by saying he forgave Ackman. And that's all anybody in financial journalism really wants these days: a phone call or e-mail from Ackman or Icahn to share some tidbit about what they're going to say next on TV or Twitter. And that would be a cool thing to have happen to me, because it might generate a lot of social-media hits, and the stocks that they just bought or shorted might go nuts. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Sending stocks up or down for no reason other than the fact that Ackman or Icahn just blurted out some company's name?