Time to Short-Sell the Hamptons

From where I'm sitting, the scariest news story of the week was the one about a blogger in China who was deported from the blogosphere after publishing a post that mocked former President Jiang Zemin's hairstyle.

Why is this so scary? Well, much of the current blog economy -- blogconomy if you will -- is heavily dependent on mocking and investigating the hairstyles of political leaders in the U.S., the U.K. and beyond. Should a certain U.S. presidential candidate find out that China (China!) is beating America when it comes to crushing the growth industry of critical political hairstyle commentary, well God help us all.

I was tempted to pick up the torch for "Shameless China" blogger Laura Lian and make some jokes about Jiang's hairstyle myself. However, truth be told, I find the "slick-backed coiffure" of Jiang to be a perfectly reasonable hairstyle for the leader of a major nation. Indeed, I did not find much at all to mock in the hairstyles of the world's political strongmen, at least those who are powerful and petty enough to have a cyberattack launched against a hair critic. Certainly not the jaunty, Pauly D-esque updo of Kim Jong Un, which is a perfect hybrid of Michael Corleone on top and "Full Metal Jacket" on the sides. And how could one have anything but praise for the proletarian efficiency of Vladimir Putin's wisps, which get the job done without any ostentatious displays, like a Russian minimalist painter.

Anyway, as I said, the hair-blogging story was perhaps only the scariest piece of news for someone like me, whose job it is to ponder such important matters. For many of my readers, I believe the scariest article of the week may be Oshrat Carmiel's piece with the headline "Hamptons Mansion Buyers Have More Choices With Sales Sliding." This, to be sure, is a more optimistic take than "Hamptons Mansion Sellers Are Out of Luck With Sales Sliding."