Banker Liverpudlian Stew Disguises CDO Scraps as Tasty Morsels Since its inception, the derivatives market has echoed the fairground hawkers’ call to “scream if you want to go faster.” Among the new derivatives, collateralized-debt obligations (CDOs) were particularly hot.

Blankfein Avoids Apology as London Risks Suicide: Mark Gilbert When almost every media mention of your institution is accompanied by the nickname “vampire squid,” you might think it prudent to learn a little humility. Not, it seems, if your name is Lloyd Blankfein.

Hedge-Fund Guy Seduces Buffett to Safeguard Bonus: Mark Gilbert Dear investor, it’s that time of the year when we share our thoughts on how we plan to invest your money here at My, What Lovely Deep Pockets That Nice Mr. Warren Buffett Has Asset Management.

Greek Default Beats Bailout, Lehman Lesson Shows: Mark Gilbert There’s a theory making the rounds comparing Greece with Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. Letting Lehman go broke, the story goes, was the worst policy error of the credit crisis; with that lesson learned, the global authorities will do anything to stop a European Union member from defaulting.

Zombies in Hiding Threaten to Trash 2010 Returns: Mark Gilbert The journey to global recovery from credit crisis looks to be well under way. Economies from Hong Kong to Germany to the U.S. have popped out of recession. Consumers everywhere seem a bit more confident. Central banks are starting to hint at ways to unhook the financial community from the life support of liquidity and quantitative easing.

Goldman’s $500 Million Is Day Late, Dollar Short: Mark Gilbert So now we know the value Goldman Sachs Group Inc. places on salving its conscience for screwing up what Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein called “God’s work.” It seems that $500 million is all it takes to compensate the world for Goldman’s role in creating the credit crunch.

Valuing Bonds, Dollar Is Crazy in World Gone Mad: Mark Gilbert “In price is knowledge,” one editor used to scream at me. Whether or not you believed in efficient markets, you could be sure the price of a bond, a currency or a commodity was trying to tell you something about the outlook for growth, inflation or monetary policy; all you had to do was listen and translate.

Cash Binge to End as Central Banks Jive to Exit: Mark Gilbert For bingers who claim that they’re not ready to leave the party yet, central bankers are jiving hard to convince us that they know where the exits are. My bet is that they’ll bail sooner than financial markets think.

Granddad, Investment Banking Is Dirty, Dangerous: Mark Gilbert “Granddad Benny, this investment- banking museum isn’t anywhere near as scary as the gold mine tour we went on last week during our California trip.”

Tiger Woods, Angelina Jolie Shouldn't Set Bonuses: Mark Gilbert The Group of 20 proclamation suggesting remedies for what ails finance is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Its proposed solutions are not only flawed, they are impossible to implement -- especially with regard to the thorny issue of remuneration and bonuses.