CBS Rediscovers Fogey-Power

Advertisers aren't interested in old people. Yes, I know, you had some fascinating experiences at Woodstock, but advertisers don't care. You're probably on a fixed income and unwilling to spend vast sums on weight-loss products and watery beer simply because the manufacturer has strenuously implied that these things will lead to improbable romantic conquests of wildly attractive people. Young people are gullible, and they're not worried about this year's cost-of-living adjustment to Social Security.

Plus, old people watch an enormous amount of television, which is why practically all the ads on daytime cable are for arthritis treatments, better mattresses or reverse mortgages. So it doesn't really matter what you put on television; the oldsters will watch it. Hits come from wooing the younger generation, too.