Matt Levine, Columnist

AI Can Steal Crypto Now

Also Strategy, co-invests, repo haircuts and map manipulation.

December 2, 2025 at 6:43 PM UTC

Matt Levine is a Bloomberg Opinion columnist. A former investment banker at Goldman Sachs, he was a mergers and acquisitions lawyer at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz; a clerk for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit; and an editor of Dealbreaker.

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I wrote yesterday about the generic artificial intelligence business model, which is (1) build an artificial superintelligence, (2) ask it how to make money and (3) do that. I suggested some ideas that the AI might come up with — internet advertising, pest-control rollups, etc. — but I think I missed the big one. Like, in a science-fiction novel about a superintelligent moneymaking AI, when the humans asked the AI “okay robot how do we make money,” you would hope that the answer it would come up with would be “steal everyone’s crypto.” That’s a great answer! Like:

Anyway Anthropic did not actually build an AI that steals crypto, that would be rude, but it … tinkered: