A $2,000 Dishwasher Will Never Impress Me

I have fairly strict requirements for my kitchen, and I’m willing to pay for the extra quality I demand. For example, I like the shelves of my kitchen cabinets to be supported at all four corners, rather than three,1495723769127 and I would prefer that the cabinets themselves stay fastened to the wall. The people who redid our kitchen in 2004 opted not to splurge on such details, and it’s funny how you really miss those little extras. So yes, it’s time for a renovation.

I have thus spent the last few months immersing myself in the principles of kitchen renovation. I have dithered over the eternal metaphysical quandaries (“Is the white kitchen really ‘a timeless classic’?”) and the competing theories of layout geometry (triangles, rectangles, zones, hyperbolic paraboloids, Poincare disks). I have engaged in multiple Oxford-Union-level debates on a single proposition: “Resolved: We shall have a wall oven.”