Matt Levine, Columnist

Trading Teens and Bank Blockchains

Also document disputes, TeslaCity bonds, levered ETNs, etc.

August 24, 2016 at 1:12 PM UTC

Matt Levine is a Bloomberg Opinion columnist. A former investment banker at Goldman Sachs, he was a mergers and acquisitions lawyer at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz; a clerk for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit; and an editor of Dealbreaker.

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Kids these days.

If you are a teenager who has maybe been running a commodities hedge fund out of your house, and if your marketing materials have maybe not fully complied with the requirements of the National Futures Association, and if an investor who claims that you won't give him his money back has complained to the NFA, and if the NFA shows up at your house to ask you a few questions, one thing you could do -- and I want to be particularly emphatic here that this is not legal advice -- is hide: