Judge Not Your Neighbor's Love for Mac n' Cheetos

If I have one regret in my current life, it's that I have not yet managed to get my hands on the new Burger King Mac n’ Cheetos sticks. I keep meaning to, but the Burger King near my house has closed down, and while I keep thinking that I will soon find myself in the vicinity of one of these golden treasures, so far it hasn’t happened. Given that this is a limited-time item, there is a good chance that I will go to my grave without ever experiencing delicious deep-fried mac and cheese crusted in Cheetos powder. This is a poignant thought indeed.

I’m aware as I write this that some of you are judging me. The bastard offspring of two foodstuffs processed beyond all recognition, bearing the same resemblance to real food as a plastic Lego tree does to a stately elm -- what sort of leaden palate and flagrant disregard for one’s arteries could possibly produce such a longing?