Barbecuing for Vegans: A Survival Guide

What with the explosion of vegetarians and others with special diets out there, many of you undoubtedly expect to host one or two at your Memorial Day barbecue. Many of you will ask yourselves, “What are we going to feed Jack?” (Or Marigold, or Geraldo.) You will ponder this question, forget about it, and then as you’re at the supermarket, stocking up for the feast, you’ll reach into the freezer case, unearth some dispirited-looking box of veggie burgers, and congratulate yourself for having done your duty.

Now, I’m not going to say that you haven’t. Indeed, I believe you’ve done more than your duty when you opted to provide any fodder at all for your special-needs friends. Having been both a vegetarian and a vegan, and having remained someone who does not eat cooked fish (“I made halibut,” the hostess says confidingly, as she leads me to the bedroom to lay down my coat; “it’s so hard with all the special diets these days, but everyone eats fish”), I have a very strong opinion about people whose diets do not conform to the local norms: That’s your problem. Choke down what you’re served, or bring your own, but don’t expect to issue orders to your hosts as if you were a doctor speaking to a hospital dietitian.