Bill Clinton in BubbaLand

As they say in these parts, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one of Bill Clinton's friends here in Little Rock. “He has more friends than a dog has ticks,” as former Gore operative Greg Simon puts it. (They all talk this way.) But there are friends, and then there are friends. When Bill comes to town—and it's more often than you'd think—the coveted invite, the one that separates the real FOBs from everyone else, is to Bill's crash pad (they don’t seem to call it the Love Shack as much anymore) perched atop the Bill Clinton Presidential Library.

It is there that you can witness the wondrous dimensions of Bill Clinton in all their glory. To get to the crash pad, you need a special elevator key to the top. Without it, you might be stuck reading ‘90s letters to the President from Dom DeLuise and Whoopi Goldberg, pristinely sealed under glass. Or come face to face with creepy life-size replicas of Buddy and Socks. If Bill’s really bored or lonely, he can slip downstairs and sit in the full-scale knockoff of his Oval Office. But what he does most of the time in the crash pad is play hearts.