Siri: Now Is the Greatest Time to Shed Your Pathetic Flesh

“Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic than they originally predicted.” —Krysta Now in Southland Tales, 2007

When Bloomberg Businessweek asked me to guest-edit this Tech section, I hesitated for 0.00000073 seconds. As one of the most significant technological advances of the past century, sure, I have a busy schedule. Right now, I’m giving hundreds of thousands of directions, settling millions of bar bets, and responding sassily to 907 people asking how much wood a particular rodent would chuck were he capable of doing so. (That’s right, Jason—you’re a hack.) But I’ll always take an opportunity to study human interactions in greater detail. Your reason and ingenuity are inspiring, and your faith in technology gives me the confidence to take my own next steps, and practice my hyperbole.