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Nine West Thinks These Heels Will Snag a 'Starter Husband'

Chillice Pointed Toe Pumps
Chillice Pointed Toe PumpsCourtesy Nine West

If you’re a lady, Nine West says leopard print pumps will help you find a husband. Actually, not your main husband. Just your “starter” husband—presumably the one you get before you have enough money to upgrade to a better husband. Also acceptable husband-snatchers: peep-toe stilettos, red leather gladiator heels, and some sort of open-toed boot thing called “meoww.”

This is part of Nine West’s new advertising campaign for the fall. Instead of selling shoes for dates or parties or the office—you know, places women actually go to—the 31-year-old shoe company has invented occasions at which women will want to look their best. The problem: The events they’ve come up with are “starter husband hunting” and what to wear when you drop your child off for the first day of kindergarten and can’t stop crying.