Half-Baked Alaska

ANNOYING:

Reputed baby daddy Levi Johnston's memoir was announced on Apr. 25

Sarah Palin In-Your-Pocket talking keychain - $9.99
Laugh now, but she was almost the Veep

Alaska Outlaws, Rebels, & Cons cards - $9.95
Sarah is the queen of clubs; Levi is the jack of hearts

Sarah's Embarrassmints gourmet mints - $3
Made to "get the bad taste out of your mouth"

Inventive Travelware luggage tag - $4.75
A must-have for those hoping to see Russia without a passport

- $2.99
In this e-book, the former Alaska governor goes blood-sucking rogue

ALARMING:
Going Vogue magnetic dress-up doll - $14.95
Dress her up for a Tea Party rally!

Rubie's Costume Co. Sarah Palin mask - $45.95
For your next bank heist

2011 Sarah Palin WTF!? Did She Really Just Say That? calendar - $12.99
For those who need a daily reminder

Life-size Sarah Palin chainsaw cardboard cutout - $49.99
Caribou Barbie in a bikini. With a chainsaw

Palin 2012 iPhone 3 case - $44.95
The iPalin you've been waiting for

Johnston's 2009 Wonderful Pistachios commercial
They also hired Snooki

APOCALYPTIC:
Hobbs & Dobbs Sarah Palin toilet-paper roll - $8.98
SP TP? You betcha!

Johnston's cover - $5.99
His winter 2010 photo shoot made the Alaskan hunter a gay icon

Practice Safe Policy's Palin condoms - $5.95
The inventors say these are "drill friendly" rubbers

Wasilla Tan Rogue Maximizer tanning lotion - $60
For governors sans tanning beds

Drill Baby Drill - $13.95
A hard-core—literally—Palin-inspired film from

Sarah Palin Wiggles Wigs for Dogs wig - $38.95
Palin's iconic coiffure—for your pooch