Bride Extensions

ANNOYING:
Kiss Me Kate Ale - $3.50 per bottle
Don't fool yourself. Royals drink Veuve

Harry and Kate Cup - $16
A mug with the wrong royal brother for major collectors

Wedding Ashtray - $8
Tap out your ash on the newlyweds (the horror!)

Kate Vinyl Doll - $195
Only 5,000 of these future heirlooms are available

iPhone Apps - Free
A gold mine of images, factoids, and trivia

Meat Pie - $3.50 per pie
Made with beef, bacon, wine, and brandy

ALARMING:
Pez Dispensers - Being auctioned on eBay
Proceeds will go to a royal-supported charity

- $10
An "if you're going" guide to the festivities

Masks - $4.75 each
The entire royal family is available. Camilla is included. Fergie is not

Dog Shirt - $36
Even your pooch can get in on the celebration

Cell Phone - $8 monthly plan
The ringtone: God Save the Queen

Knock-Off Dress - $150
A replica of Kate's engagement frock

APOCALYPTIC:
Cuff Links - $25
Cuffs 'N' Collars' contribution to the young-lust frenzy

Crown Jewel Condoms - $8 for three
Heritage sheaths of distinction

Knit Your Own Royal Wedding - $11
What better way to kill time between now and Apr. 29?

Commemorative Fridge - Price based on model
The photo is arguably improved by the water dispenser

Press-On Nails - $24
A hard-core crown-watcher favorite

Toilet Seat Cover - $16
A rather unroyal take on the "throne"