You may have heard that Kate Middleton had a baby boy today. In fact, you may have heard it about a hundred times more than you wanted. The past few weeks may have taught you more about what was, until 4:24 p.m. London time, a nameless, sexless future royal than you'll ever learn about your own children.
The Guardian newspaper in the U.K. understands that you might be sick of it all. Its website now has a button on its home page that allows you to collapse the massive box of baby-related news, scrubbing the top of the page of photos, live coverage and, earlier today, quite a bit of information on the Queen's gynecologist. Earlier this morning, the button beckoned "Republican?" potentially invoking a bit more politics than desirable. It now simply reads "Not a royalist?"
Tempting though it may be, do yourself a favor and don't push the button. Keep your eyes glued to the door of that hospital. Laugh at the wearied, verging on cynical, reporters -- and then celebrate with them that they finally have some news to share. At the very least, grab a scone and admire that easel.
It might be too late to bet on the sex but you still have time to take a gander at what he will be named -- after all, William wasn't William until a week after his birth. Topping the list at Paddy Power is George, with odds of 2:1. If you miss out on that, you still have ample time (we hope) to bet on the name of his first significant other and at what age he'll first be photographed visiting a nightclub.
Yes, there are many other news stories -- an earthquake in China, Israeli-Palestinian talks and the Trayvon Martin fall-out are all featured on the Guardian's home page -- that deserve far more attention. There are also news stories that deserve far less. But few stories are so universally happy and stand to produce so many winners.
The British economy may cash in on what the New York Times dubbed a "Royal Baby Boomlet," as people buy souvenirs and celebratory alcohol. Other babies born today will be eligible for one of 2,013 silver coins from the Royal Mint. A thousand people passing through London's Heathrow airport will receive free swag. Niagara Falls, CN Tower in Toronto and various attractions in New Zealand will glow blue this evening.
England has a new prince, one who may one day be king. More important, a family not blind to scrutiny and controversy and tragedy has a son, a grandson, a great-grandson.
So indulge your inner Royalist and take a few moments to celebrate. Odds are higher than 2:1 that the tensions in the Middle East will wait for you to put away your Union Jack.
(Zara Kessler is an assistant editor and producer for Bloomberg View. Follow her on Twitter.)