10 Rand Paul Store Accessories for Defeating the Washington Machine

The best and worst items from the Rand Paul for President store.

Check Out the Rand Paul Store

On Tuesday, Senator Rand Paul announced that he's entering the 2016 presidential election as a defeater of the Washington machine, unleasher of the American dream, and staunch defender of the U.S. Constitution. At least, that's what we've gathered from his online store.

The Rand Paul store is a healthy mix of quirky and practical items, stamped with the Paul logo and the knowledge that you've helped him get one step closer to auditing the Fed.

Because there are so many options to choose from, here are 10 of the best products the store has to offer, accompanied by slightly more descriptive titles to give shoppers a sense of what they're getting themselves into with each product. We've left the product descriptions intact, however, because each one is a work of art. 

The ‘Oh My God, NSAAAAAAAAAAA, Stop Violating My Constitutional Rights! Haven’t You Heard of Privacy?’ Spy Cam Blocker

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NSA Spy Cam Blocker - $15

From the store:

That little front facing camera on your laptop or tablet can be a window for the world to see you - whether you know it or not! Stop hackers and the NSA with this simple camera blocker. Safe and practical.

The ‘Is Your Lawn on Fire or Are You Just Burning with Love for the Constitution?’ Yard Sign

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Rand Logo Yard Sign, Pair - $15

From the store:

There's the standard sign, then there's the Rand sign! Every candidate has standard signs, but Rand has the distinctive yard sign that stands out and in it's own very simple way, gets the job done. 22” wide with a pair of EZ stakes. This package comes with a pair of yard signs: one for your yard and one for a neighbor.

The ‘Chill Dog on the Fourth of July’ Tee

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Unleash the Dream Tee - $15

From the store:

No one wants their government keeping them on a leash. It's time to Defeat the Washington Machine and Unleash the American Dream. Take the Rand Paul message with you in a more subtle way. The dogtag has the Rand logo with the campaign theme below...and every good American likes a dog!

The ‘i carry your face with me(i carry it on my mac)’ MacBook Skin

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Rand MacBook Skin - $20

From the store:

Macbooks are cooler when they're skinned with freedom and liberty. There's no better way to do that than getting one of these Rand Macbook skins for your book. The adhesive is strong but removes without leaving paper or adhesive behind.

The ‘Sure, Definitely Put This $1,000 Constitution in Your Jeans Pocket’ Signed Constitution

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Autographed Constitution by Rand Paul - $1,000

From the store:

It's hard to find a greater defender of the U.S. Constitution in the Halls of Congress than Rand Paul. As a Constitutional conservative, he makes it the core of everything he does in Washington. If you would like a signed Constitution in a neatly bound book, contribute $1,000 and we will send you one. It's size is perfect for comfortable carrying in the pocket of a sport coat, a purse, laptop bag or in the back pocket of some worn out jeans.

The ‘Get Cozy with Rand...’ Blanket

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The Real Rand Woven Blanket - $75

From the store:

Sure it might be fun to have Rand in your living room at night engaging in deep discussions about objectivism, libertarianism, conservatism and a few other isms. In the absence of that, curl up on your couch with the Rand blanket. It's the next best thing to him being there.

The ‘This Shirt Is Kinda Ugly, but At Least Cars Will See You’ Running Shirt

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Safety Runner Rand Paul Performance Shirt - $40

From the store:

While Rand Paul runs for president, you can run safely through the streets of your community with this Safety Runner brand Rand Paul performance tee. Better yet, enter a race and let the running world know which candidate has the endurance to go the distance and protect our Constitution.

The ‘Defeat the Washington Machine Before It Cracks Your iPhone’ iPhone Case 

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iPhone 6 Case - Defeat The Washington Machine - $20

From the store:

Rand Paul defends and protects the privacy on your phone in Washington. Now he can protect the hardware of your phone at the same time. This dual protection phone case, has a hard plastic case and a metal plate to give your iPhone the maximum Rand Paul defense.

 The ‘Giant Rand Paul Birthday Card’ Giant Rand Paul Birthday Card

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Giant Rand Paul Birthday Card - $35

From the store: 

Give your favorite Rand Paul supporter a gift they will never forget, a humongous Rand Paul birthday card. This three foot tall card comes complete with an equally gigantic envelope. Of all the gifts they get, this is the one everybody will be talking about. And why not, after all, our goal is to elect him to the White House.

The ‘Frat Bros and Children at the Church Picnic Love Rand’ Bag Toss Game

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Bag Toss Game - $100

From the store:

Have fun, make a difference.

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