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Jessica Karl

Twitter Is Turning Into a Nightmare Cruise Ship

Elon Musk is cutting us off from the all-you-can-eat tweet buffet.

Carnival ships cut you off after 15 drinks. Elon Musk isn’t being nearly so generous with Twitter. — Carnival ships cut you off after 15 drinks. Elon Musk isn’t being nearly so generous with Twitter.
Photographer: Nathan Laine/Bloomberg; Illustration: Jessica Karl

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July 3, 2023, 9:30 PM UTC

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I have a theory about Twitter, and it’s that Elon Musk — purposefully or not — is slowly turning the bird app into a giant cruise ship. First off, you can’t tell me that being stuck on a boat full of socially awkward strangers isn’t dissimilar from Twitter. Cruise ships have something for everyone — much like the app: There’s entertainment. Shopping. Games. Fitness. But those aren’t the only parallels. Cruise ships often have VIP offerings, much like Twitter Blue: