The makers of the NoPhone did not hold a keynote press conference today to announce the latest product in their signature line. While no one was speculating about what features the next NoPhone would not have, some new details nevertheless emerged to no acclaim. Soon, the NoPhone will do less than ever.
The NoPhone Zero, a downgrade to the original NoPhone released last September, will feature no additional features—no rose-gold case, no 4K video camera, no Force Touch capabilities. In fact, the NoPhone Zero barely resembles a phone. Like the NoPhone, the next-gen NoPhone Zero isn’t a phone at all. Unlike the NoPhone, however, the NoPhone Zero doesn’t even feature plastic molding in the shape of the iPhone’s camera or buttons.