These Investment Firm Holiday Videos Are as Awkward as You'd Expect

Source: YouTube

‘Tis the season for investors to make fun of themselves. Jennifer Ross at Bloomberg Briefs pulled together holiday videos from private equity and venture capital firms that are making the rounds this year. Well, words don’t do them justice.

First, we’ve got the wannabe baller private-equity guys. The Carlyle Group holiday video riffs off the firm’s investment in Beats by Dr. Dre. “You know, Dr. Dre is an incredible businessman and artist, and he even inspired me to write my own rap,” co-founder David Rubenstein says. In a hat tip to the awkwardness, Rubinstein adds, “I haven’t done anything like this really since my Bar Mitzvah.”

First Round Capital, a venture capital firm whose investments range from Warby Parker to BirchBox, gives fresh meaning to the song and dance routine. The firm has made parody videos something of a holiday tradition, with the startups they invest in starring as the main performers/sacrificial lambs. This year features Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass (“It’s all about burn rate, burn rate, slow spendin’.”); Sam Smith’s Stay with Me (“I hope my LTV is more than CAC”); Pharrell’s Happy (“Because we’re scrappyyyyy, scrap along on the path to product market fit”); and Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off (“Makers gotta make make make”).

While the animation in Battery Ventures’ tech year-in-review video is super cheery, this season’s greeting has something of an anxious undertone, as the first event on the timeline—Target’s epic hack—shows. Kinda like how that egg nog tastes delicious, and then suddenly, you realize you’re drunk.

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