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Opinion
Matt Levine

Accused Insider Trader Says He Didn't Recognize His Dad's Name

It all makes more sense when you learn that his father's name was also his own name. Also he didn't recognize the name of the mother of his child, though to be fair her name is Destiny Wind Robinson.

The insider trading charges filed today against F. Perkins Hixon Jr., a former senior managing director at Evercore who goes by "Perk," raise so many questions. But my first question after reading the criminaland SEC complaints was: How much does a senior managing director at Evercore get paid? Hixon is accused of insider trading in three situations between October 2011 and January 2013, making a total profit of about $609,000 (per the FBI) or $950,000 (per the SEC). Now don't get me wrong, if you gave me $609,000, I would take it, but, one, I bet he makes more money than I do, and two, I would not risk jail for it.

The thing about insider trading is that it is dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, and it is dumb because you'll probably get caught, and then what will your $609,000 do for you? I don't get it. Those three situations where Hixon allegedly insider traded are (1) trading in Titanium Metals Corporation in October 2012, before Titanium announced that it was going to be acquired but after Hixon and his team had pitched Titanium on representing them in the acquisition, (2) trading in Evercore stock ahead of Evercore's announcement of record 2012 earnings in January 2013, and (3) trading in Westway, Hixon's client, in 2011, before Westway announced that it was being acquired in a complicated deal on which Hixon advised. Why would you insider trade in your own deals, or your own company? You work at a bank! You hear stuff all the time! Insider trade in someone else's deal. (Or, I mean, not at all, but not your deal, come on.)