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American Brands' Lame Pursuit of a Royal Moment

American Brands' Lame Pursuit of a Royal Moment
Illustration by 731

With all the paparazzi hovering over Kate Middleton’s belly yesterday (literally, in the case of the Sky News helicopter) and U.S. newspapers making it a front-page event, it’s easy to miss the general indifference of most Americans. Even the burst of #RoyalBaby enthusiasm on Twitter paled next to the buzz generated by President Obama’s reelection and the elevation of Pope Francis (peaking at 25,300 tweets per minute for the new prince, vs. 132,000 tweets per minute for the new pope and 237,000 per minute for Obama’s victory).

That says less about our love of monarchy—never America’s strength—than our love of drama. Delivering a baby is pretty boring stuff: no designer dresses to critique, no parade of celebrities, no play by play. It’s especially boring when the parents are quiet, publicity-shy people who treat royalty as a civil-service job. Not for them the Kanye-and-Kim antics that spawn a North West or the rock royalty braggadocio behind a Blue Ivy Carter. Instead, the future king gets hands-on parents who want to give their son a normal life.