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Odd Jobs: Prosthetic Dog-Testicle Maker

Odd Jobs: Prosthetic Dog-Testicle Maker
Photograph by Joerg Buschmann/Gallery Stock

Gregg Miller remembers the first time he realized just what an uphill battle he was facing with his new business. He was sitting backstage at the Pat Bullard Show in New York, waiting to introduce the world to Neuticles. He got into a conversation with comedian Joan Rivers, another guest on the show, and tried to explain to her exactly what he’d invented. “They’re testicular implants for pets,” he said. Rivers just stared at him blankly and asked, “What do they do?” Miller went into as much detail as he could, telling her how Neuticles help pets and their owners deal with the trauma of neutering. She just smirked at him, he says, and then repeated her question. “But what do they do?”

It’s difficult to quantify exactly what Neuticles do. Unlike the things they’re replacing —the actual scrotums that are removed during castration surgery—Neuticles don’t technically have a biological purpose. They’re an emotional Band-Aid for a procedure that Miller says “adds insult to injury.” He came up with the idea after noticing that his dog, a bloodhound named Buck, went through a long grieving process after being neutered. “Dogs aren’t stupid,” he says. “They would know if their eye was gouged out, or their foot was cut off. Why wouldn’t they know if their testicles are now missing?”