Forget Lindsay Lohan And Britney. You Are About To Witness The True Heart Of Darkness For Young Celebrity.

This is a very sharply edited 10 minutes of a dreadful-sounding and much longer video that Corey Haim put out in 1989 called Me, Myself and I. Apparently he did this to counter … uhm … bad publicity and/or rumors concerning Corey’s “lifestyle problems,” if I may borrow a euphemism once employed by sports teams once to describe their more intoxicant-inclined players.

(I am totally stealing the phrase “the only brother,” effective immediately.) Also: The hair? The clothes? The music? Man. Mainstream pop culture in the late Eighties was TERRIBLE. I’d almost forgotten.

Those interested (or still reading) may find themselves irresistibly drawn to the latest excruciating-sounding celebrity reality show, “The Two Coreys,” soon to debut on A & E. Just don’t think The Other Corey—Feldman—emerges unscathed from a quick YouTube search. This, from his fortunately-abortive musical career:

Before it's here, it's on the Bloomberg Terminal.