Great Moments in Public Relations, Part 452

A friend forwards the following:

It has come to my attention, month after month, that many of you are not receiving your complimentary copies of Penthouse Magazine.

This is typically due to the U.S. Post office, or your internal mailrooms. They come in Penthouse envelopes and it is no wonder that they often “disappear.”

If you would like to receive the magazine in digital format, as opposed to a hardcopy, please let me know and I can have this arranged.

I would appreciate a response either way, so I can help alleviate this issue.

Thank you,


Public Relations Manager Penthouse Magazine

Afeter we ran these five sentences through our ever-handy Subtext Decoder, we find the following multi-layered messages:

1. A reassurance that Penthouse, you know, still exists, in case those on the freebie list was starting to wonder. (This is actually true, by the way—they backers are less famous but much more well-heeled now.)

2. A reminder that Penthouse, you know, still matters: Oy! The problems we have! People keep stealing our magazine!

3. Reassurance that you can just keep Penthouse on your computer now, meaning that your wife/significant other will never catch you with a copy of it.

Before it's here, it's on the Bloomberg Terminal.