`This Is The Captain. Put Down That Pastry'

As the summer's fare wars fade into history, flight attendants are swapping tales of the tiresome traveler. There was the passenger who wanted to open a window. Another tried to pay for an in-flight beer with food stamps. But the adventures of United Airlines flight 121 from Chicago to San Francisco on Sept. 10 may top them all.

Just before departure, six beer-sodden young people boarded. They spent the first hour of the flight shouting to each other, pestering women, and blocking the movie screen. When dinner arrived, they began hurling cream puffs at each other, splattering innocent bysitters. The pilot had to intervene to prevent a posse of fed-up passengers from administering frontier justice to the rowdy group. Police met the flight when it landed in San Francisco. Sighed a weary flight attendant to an exiting passenger: "I sure am glad this sale is over."

Before it's here, it's on the Bloomberg Terminal.