What's Next? Freeing The Inner Kitten?

It's darn near impossible to be trendy these days without suffering from something. Books on that ultravague, ultrafashionable disorder, co-dependence, sell millions of copies. Bald men form support groups for the follicle-impaired.

Naturally, responsible cat mwners would hate to have their furry loved ones miss out on the sweet suffering of their very own malaise. Now they need not. You see, Tabby may be lactose-intolerant. And all this time you thought she just didn't like milk. To help alleviate this tragedy, the intrepid researchers at Alpo Petfoods have come up with Dairy Cat low-lactose milk drink for cats. It will hit store shelves this fall, retailing at 49 for five ounces. Says Alpo nutritionist Mark Finke: "Cats and milk are a natural together." Of course, if they're such a natural fit, one might ask why cats have such a hard time digesting the stuff. But that would be nit-picking.

Before it's here, it's on the Bloomberg Terminal.