Hillary Clinton’s E-mails: Will They Blend?

Almost everyone needs to pulverize something from time to time. We asked the incomparable Blendtec founder, Tom Dickson, to show us how it's done.

Hillary Clinton’s E-Mails: Will They Blend?

Gone are the golden days of the TV pitchman, those savvy salespeople who hawked household goods with Cronkiteian confidence.

Without these stalwarts of the consumer psyche, Americans have inferior options when searching for information about what to buy. Google ads and promoted tweets just don’t have that personal touch, though they reign in a digital world, void of sensible, salient pitchmen.

That is, except for one: Tom Dickson, the founder of Blendtec, is as viral as the chicken pox. He blends iPads. He blends glow sticks. He’d blend his own hand if it wouldn’t handicap his future blends. And all in the name of the indestructible Blendtec blender.

We wondered if his blenders were really that tough. Sure, they can blend neodymium magnets. But can they blend Hillary Clinton’s e-mails to the point of deletion?

It turns out ... yes.

Hillary’s not the only one who needs to get rid of some liabilities. President Obama, as we all know, loves to golf around. He’ll be leaving the White House soon, so he won’t be needing this anymore:

Ted Cruz just announced he’s running for president. Better get rid of all the reminders of his Canadian history: 

And what the hell—here’s John Boehner’s sunscreen that he never uses:

“Don’t breathe this!”

Watch the full video above.

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