Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek

How to Invest Like a Bluth

  1. Business Blunders
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    Business Blunders

    In anticipation of Netflix’s revival of the former Fox comedy series Arrested Development, a look at the Bluth family’s greatest hits of wasted money and misadventures in business.

    The Lemon Grove
    Michael puts $10,000 in Uncle Oscar’s lemon grove, not knowing the government has an easement on the land. “The first investment I made with the company money and it’s a total disaster,” he says.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  2. The Cornballer
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    The Cornballer

    George Sr. tried to market his invention, used to make cornballs, with Richard Simmons. Deemed dangerous, they’re taken off shelves in the U.S. George continues to sell them in Mexico.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  3. The Queen Mary
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    The Queen Mary

    Tobias uses Bluth funds to buy Queen Mary, a gay club. He wants to name it “Tobias’ Queen Mary,” but the sign reads, “Tobias is Queen Mary.” He sells it to family attorney Barry Zuckerkorn.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  4. Sudden Valley
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    Sudden Valley

    The doomed planned community is also home to the Bluth family’s rickety model home, which gradually falls apart and collapses into a sinkhole.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  5. Magic Tricks
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    Magic Tricks

    GOB takes about $18,000 of company money for his Aztec Tomb “illusion.” George Sr. tries, and fails, to hide from the SEC in the Azetc Tomb during his retirement party.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  6. Model Homes in Iraq
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    Model Homes in Iraq

    George Sr. was accused of treason for building homes for Saddam Hussein in Iraq. He’s later exonerated when it’s discovered the development was part of a CIA scheme to spy on Saddam.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  7. Bluth’s Original Frozen Banana Stand
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    Bluth’s Original Frozen Banana Stand

    George Sr. hides $250,000 in the stand’s walls. Michael unknowingly incinerates it when he burns down the stand to send George a message.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek
  8. Charity
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    Charity

    Lindsay takes $40,000 of company money for her anti-circumcision charity, H.O.O.P. (Hands Off Our Penises). “Sounds like you saved enough skin to make 10 new boys,” Michael says.

    Illustration by Quickhoney for Bloomberg Businessweek