The multibillion-dollar festival season
exposes America for what it is: a nation that loves its cow turds, turkey
testicles, and amateur porn. There are more than 25,000 U.S. Festivals each
year, according to Festival Media.
Cotati Accordion Festival
instrument of Nixon, Gandhi, and Drew Carey gets its due
Choose amongst Miss
Tator Tot Contest, potato sack fashion show, and masher
Flax Scutching Festival
Stahlstown, Pa. Because linen does not just make itself, Sept. 10-11.
Toy Piano Festival
San Diego Aspiring Schroeders pack the house to pound
on tiny pianos on Sept. 3.
Coon Dog Cemetery Labor Day Celebration
Tuscumbia, Ala. Booze it up on hunting-dog graves, Sept. 5.
Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw and Festival
Prairie du Sac, Wis. The Olympics of
cow pie chucking,
World Chicken Festival
London, Ky. Not one, but two
burping contests on
Minocqua, Wis. The commemorative T-shirt alone is worth the trip, Sept. 24
Poison Oak Show
Columbia, Calif. Enter to win
of a Poison Oak Victim,” Sept. 24.
Festival of the Dead
Salem, Mass. Talk to deceased loved ones via real-life witches