President Barack Obama, following tradition, tried his hand at stand-up comedy last night at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner.
Here are 10 of his best one-liners:
- “I usually start off these dinners with a few self-deprecating jokes. After my stellar 2013, what could I possibly talk about?”
- “At one point things got so bad, the 47 percent called
Mitt Romney to apologize.”
- “In 2008 my slogan was ‘Yes We Can.’ In 2013 it was ‘Control-Alt-Delete.’”
- On the dinner’s comedian host, Joel McHale, and the gala’s reputation: “On ‘Community’, Joel plays a preening, self-obsessed narcissist. So this dinner must be a real change of pace for you.”
- On CNN: “I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia... the lengths we have to go to get CNN coverage these days.” Obama followed up saying that lost-Malaysian-plane -obsessed CNN was probably still trying to find its table.
- On the Boston Marathon: An American winning the Boston Marathon was inspiring and “only fair, because a Kenyan has been president for the last six.”
- On Fox News and the prospect of a Hillary Clinton presidency: “Let’s face it Fox, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. It’ll be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.”
- On Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy: “As a general rule, things don’t end well when a sentence starts, ‘Let me tell you something about the negro.’”
- On how well Obamacare would have to work for Republicans to quit trying to repeal it: “What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a Clippers game? Not the old Don Sterling Clippers, the new Oprah Clippers. Would that be good enough?”
- And, judged by audience response, his best effort of the night: “These days the House Republicans actually give
John Boehner a harder time than they give me... which means that orange really is the new black.”