I just sent my 18-year-old off to college. As we drove toward the Newark airport through the morning darkness, I tried to come up with advice. He tolerated it, maybe because he was leaving, or perhaps he was fighting off sleep. In any case, here's a selection. If you have objections, amendments, or others to add, please put them in comments.

* Every beer after the third (or fourth) adds only stupor, hangover and fat.
* You don't meet women playing video games and watching sports on TV.
* This is your golden chance to study religion in China, modern dance, agricultural economics, Arabic. Expand.
* Avoid deep-fried food.
* Master the studies first. Then party to celebrate your success.
* Pick the professors, not the courses.
* You're learning not just for yourself, but for the whole family: Tell us what we should know.

Before it's here, it's on the Bloomberg Terminal. LEARN MORE