When will e-tailing pioneer Amazon.com become profitable? One way to increase margins is through Amazon-branded products. Founder Jeff Bezos admits that's the route he's going to take but won't reveal his plans. So we have some suggestions for him:
STOCK MARKET GOT YOU DOWN?
Jeff feels your stress. (And how: He has 118 million shares of Amazon.com.) So he's making calming herbal treatments. Try the Amazon Kava Kava and feel that anxiety slip away.
JEFF DID IT AS A KID. WHY NOT YOU?
Isn't it time you tried calf-branding? Get started with your own Amazon Branding Kit, including charcoal, lighter fluid, a choice of branding implements and rope. Cattle not included.
STARTER FURNITURE FOR THAT DOT-COM
Jeff has been down that road, and now his innovative design solutions are available to you. Sturdy desks handcrafted out of stout wooden doors and sawhorses.
THE BEST OF LAWRENCE WELK
Those all-American singers in the Amazon ads last holiday season are back, serenading you with tunes such as That Wacky World Wide Web Is the Only Shop for Me done to the tune of Yellow Rose of Texas.
LAUGH ALONG WITH JEFF
What's a party or board meeting without a Bezos laugh track? Now, you can create an ambiance of hilarity with his ear-splitting guffaws--on CD, audiocassette, or streaming audio download. For a sample, go to ebiz.businessweek.com.