When did we stop trick-or-treating and start being a sexy cat at a house party? It eludes us. But if we cannot return to our youth, the least we can get out of our catty maturity is better candy than they threw at us as kids. Would Loot walk up and down the Upper West Side dressed as a pumpkin if it meant a bunch of free gourmet confections? Yes.
Or the Papabubble lollipop. Unlike almost every other candy on the planet, the Papabubble tastes a little like the fruit flavor it purports to be. That's worth the $15 they charge for their seven-inch pops, and the dignity you surrender parading around as a 1970s Rollerblader, the costume that never dies. There may now be more ironic Halloween Rollerbladers than Rollerbladers.
And a fireman getup is a lot cheaper than a ticket to the U.K. So if somebody started handing out stuff from the London Candy Company, Loot would take a deep breath, put on a plastic fire helmet and line up for a pack of Cadbury bonbons. And so would you.
No matter how old you are, you're probably going to wind up dressed as something and freezing on a street corner on Oct. 31, even if you just go as somebody dressed as something freezing on a street corner on Oct. 31. For grown-ups, Halloween can be pretty horrifying. Surely the candy doesn't need to be.
James Tarmy reports on arts and culture for Bloomberg Muse, the arts and leisure section of Bloomberg News.