New Meadowlands Has Horrible Edibles; Go With Deli: Food Buzz

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Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

A meatball slider at New Meadowlands stadium. Fans can enjoy all-you-can-eat fare in the Coaches Club section.

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Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

A meatball slider at New Meadowlands stadium. Fans can enjoy all-you-can-eat fare in the Coaches Club section. Close

A meatball slider at New Meadowlands stadium. Fans can enjoy all-you-can-eat fare in the Coaches Club section.

Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

Fans watch football at the New Meadowlands stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Folks in the nose-bleed seats will benefit most from the stadium's four giant video screens. Close

Fans watch football at the New Meadowlands stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Folks in the nose-bleed seats will... Read More

Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

Draft beer taps at New Meadowlands stadium. Alcohol sales cease in the general concessions area after halftime; fans in the club sections can order drinks until the end of the third quarter. Close

Draft beer taps at New Meadowlands stadium. Alcohol sales cease in the general concessions area after halftime; fans... Read More

Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

Grilled filet mignon, turkey roulade and honey-glazed pit ham at New Meadowlands stadium. It's the same type of fare one might find in any hotel buffet, anywhere in the country. Close

Grilled filet mignon, turkey roulade and honey-glazed pit ham at New Meadowlands stadium. It's the same type of fare... Read More

Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

Fans stand behind the Giants bench at the Coaches Club private on-field patio. Personal seat licenses cost $20,000 each for the club. Close

Fans stand behind the Giants bench at the Coaches Club private on-field patio. Personal seat licenses cost $20,000 each for the club.

Photographer: Ryan Sutton/Bloomberg

A NJ Transit train at the New Meadowlands stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Train service to the stadium is a new addition. Close

A NJ Transit train at the New Meadowlands stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Train service to the stadium is a new addition.

Sipping a Tom Collins a few steps behind Giants quarterback Eli Manning at the New Meadowlands Stadium, I realized that $40,000 may buy you and a date access to a field-level lounge, but it doesn’t get you cocktails, which are $12 and awful.

A pair of Jets seat “licenses” is even pricier, topping out at $60,000. (The onetime fee allows you to keep buying your season tickets year after year.) And that’s why this life-long fan will watch from home as the two New York football teams open their seasons this Sunday and Monday in their new, $1.6 billion arena.

The pizza’s free but so bad I almost yearned for a Domino’s slice. Miserable Manhattans, poured into a plastic cup with neither shaking nor stirring still help you forget about the turnpike-quality concessions and pricing on par with tuition at New York University.

Like sausage and politics, the New Meadowlands is slick and shiny on the outside, suspect within. The steel jungle gym of an exterior emits gorgeous green and blue lights at night; the interior’s concrete walkways do their best impression of a maximum-security prison. It’s the most expensive, least impressive of the area’s three new stadiums. And it’s the only one without in-seat wait service.

Where’s the Roof?

My third-row seats, face value $700 apiece, were about the price of dinner for two at Per Se. Per Se at least offers a roof, which the stadium does not (good luck to fans at the February, 2014, Super Bowl).

If you’ve shelled out top dollar for Coaches or Mezzanine club seats, you can retreat to climate-controlled lounges where most views of the action are obstructed or nonexistent. Everyone else will watch on flat screens in the Captain Morgan Club, where a rum & cola will set you back $18.

“It includes an extra shot of alcohol,” says the barkeep. Classy.

Want a $4.75 bottle of water? I almost spilled it because the cashier kept the cap. “It’s so fans don’t throw the tops at players,” she explained. The teams don’t hold patrons in high regard, though I was allowed to keep my bottle top in a fancy club, where I could hit the opposing team’s linebackers more easily.

Nice Steaks

Food is included in the Coaches Club ticket price; the David Rockwell-designed buffet dished out overcooked penne a la vodka, rubbery kosher chicken nuggets and mushy cannoli. There are medium-rare skirt steaks, succulent beef tenderloins, juicy stuffed turkey and spicy chili.

The fare at best is generic and utterly boring. The opposite is true at our other new stadiums: At Citi Field for example, Mets fans can snack on New York’s best local fast food, including burgers from Danny Meyer’s Shake Shack, crispy fries from Box Frites, great tacos at El Verano Taqueria and David Pasternack’s fresh, meaty lobster rolls.

The Coaches Club, in contrast, embarrasses our country’s culinary capital with retrograde, flavorless Tex-Mex chicken tortillas, tuna fish-like lobster rolls and soggy fries. A “custom grind” Brooklyn Burger from the Mezzanine Club tastes nothing like the good sliders I’ve had in Kings County. Other sports complexes hire well-known regional chefs and restaurateurs; the Meadowlands picked the mass-market Food Network to provide $11 short rib hot dogs.

Instead, have the deep-fried franks for $6.00. Or gorge on the least crowded and most authentic vendors in the general concessions area -- the bridge-and-tunnel Italian deli stands.

Try a stellar roast pork sandwich (with sharp cheese and spicy pepper), a decent egg and pepper hero or a $15 beef roulade whose heady, salty ham-stuffed interior comes out best when you toss the dry, forgettable bread. Wash it all down with good dark beer.

The New Meadowlands Stadium is at 102 Route 120, East Rutherford, New Jersey. Information: http://www.giants.com or http://www.newyorkjets.com/. Direct train service via Penn Station.

(Ryan Sutton writes about New York City restaurants for Muse, the arts and entertainment section of Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are his own.)

To contact the writer of this column: Ryan Sutton in New York at rsutton1@bloomberg.net or Qualityrye on http://twitter.com/qualityrye

To contact the editor responsible for this story: Manuela Hoelterhoff at mhoelterhoff@bloomberg.net.

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