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BW TechBeat Haiku Contest: Calling for Entries

? Google at $600? Welcome Back, Henry--Er, I Mean Safa |


| Netgear + Skype = Major Trouble for Cisco? ?

January 03, 2006

BW TechBeat Haiku Contest: Calling for Entries

Steve Hamm

Rather than doing something conventional like post my predictions for 2006 (Sorry, Rob ;-)), I have decided to kick off the new year with a tech haiku contest. The inspiration: This blog collecting haikus about mainframes.

The rules: Write a haiku in some way related to the tech world and send it in as a comment. Assuming people actually write poems and send them in, anybody else can vote for their choice as the best BW TechBeat Haiku by sending in a comment/vote. The prize is blogosphere fame. The winner--again, assuming people actually send in poems--will get her or his picture published on TechBeat along with the appropriate kudos.

For those of you who have forgotten how to write a haiku, here's a refresher. I'm going with the less-strict "free-form haiku" definition, though, when I vote, I'll give extra points for more formal poems.

To get things rolling, here's a haiku. I thought of this while crossing the Avenue of the Americas in a sleetstorm.

Those smart Google guys

Everything they touch

Turns to--Google

Here are some of those mainframe haikus:

Less a lumbering

Dinosaur as is believed

Big iron is speed

-- Haiku by Brian Capps of Portland Community College

New world discovered

Mainframes are a legacy

In old lies future.

-- Ezra Fernandez, SUNY Binghamton U.

The wind blows softly

Through the leaves of autumn. wait,

That's just the mainframe

--Van Landrum, U. of South Alabama


Which of the two is preferred?

Either way, convert

--Frank Migacz, Northern Illinois U.

Thousands of options

Stable like the mountain peak

Can it play Starcraft?

-- Ian Penney, Memorial University of Newfoundland

Mainframe, desire

But not too much, or it will

Surely overheat

--Aaron McMahan, West Virgina University at Parkersburg

02:36 PM


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Tracked on January 4, 2006 12:15 PM

Ok, ok, here we go.

Blogs, oh, bloggy blogs

ever changing, ever new,

Now video, blog

Posted by: Heather Green at January 3, 2006 04:15 PM

Comment spam on blog

Compares unfavorably

To Blue Screen of Death

Posted by: Eric Sohn at January 3, 2006 04:49 PM

want to blog, compulsively

growing your reputation

or get a real job?

Posted by: B.L. Ochman at January 3, 2006 05:12 PM

Companies should blog

It's the wave of the future

If not wave goodbye

Posted by: Jim Turner at January 3, 2006 06:27 PM

popular post hits home

my site dies fast and quiet

in monster blogswarm

Posted by: anon at January 3, 2006 06:29 PM

Mainframe architect.

Needs evolution museum.

Global money biz.

Posted by: June Klein at January 3, 2006 06:30 PM

Overachiever that I am, I wrote two. Actually three, but I was told by a reliable source that the first one was "hopelessly nerdy."

Open source software/

Getting more mainstream every year/

Sorry Microsoft

Software IPOs?/

Where are they? 2005 only had a few/

And few on tap for 2006 :(

Posted by: Sarah Lacy at January 3, 2006 06:57 PM

PortalPlayer chip

The heart of 5G iPods

Keeps boredom at bay

Posted by: Eric Sohn at January 3, 2006 07:04 PM

Stop it RSS

Simple yes, but a thousand

feeds give me nosebleeds.

Posted by: Alex Bellinger at January 3, 2006 07:05 PM

Let's use AJAX for

A haiku generator

Web 2.0 rocks!

Posted by: Eric Sohn at January 3, 2006 07:05 PM

green technology

frogs master. when they rule the world

they use it wisely

Posted by: ari fay at January 3, 2006 07:43 PM

Gosh, this is fun...


Curry rewrites history

"Podfather", indeed!

Posted by: Eric Sohn at January 3, 2006 09:53 PM

Eric Sohn's haiku

about Web 2.0 is

the best so far.

Posted by: John R. at January 3, 2006 10:14 PM

Tech haikus? Pshaw! ...

I've been pitching in haiku ...

For quite a long time ...

Posted by: Phil Gomes at January 4, 2006 12:29 AM

Haiku about tech?

Syllables: five, seven, five.

Don't quit your day job.

Posted by: David Singer at January 4, 2006 01:20 AM

Web 1.0 - Bursted

Web 2.0 - Bloated


Posted by: at January 4, 2006 04:27 AM

A Google PC --

No more climbing through Windows

to compute?

Posted by: Rob Weisman at January 4, 2006 10:47 AM

Torrent of data

Forest of zeros and ones

I am on my way

Posted by: Kit Robinson at January 4, 2006 11:57 AM

P.C.: Boot daily --

The solid, humble mainframe

keeps running for years.

Posted by: Dave Clark at January 4, 2006 12:28 PM

Blogosphere fame. Ha. Guaranteed? ;)

Anyhow, I'll contribute (hope the breaks work because they don't show up in the preview):


i'M a sPaM comMenT

AwEsomE blOg, cLicK herE, wIn cAsH

WhY yoU hAte mE sO?


No spam post blocker?

Thanks for helping my S.E.O

Link, Link, Link, and Link.


RSS is great!

Instead of surfing for news,

I get drowned in it.

And to top it off:


I'm tech haiku

for business week contest

I think I will win!

Posted by: Klim at January 4, 2006 04:15 PM

Latest technolo

gee, it's not just for the young.

Grey heads get it too!

Posted by: Ari's Grammy at January 5, 2006 09:55 AM

would love to haiku blogs

what is the format again

five six seven blog

Posted by: Bob Van L at January 5, 2006 03:44 PM

Here are some submissions from the folks at

From CEO Marc Benioff

There is no software.

Live or Dead. Microsoft decides.

There is only software.

From PR man Bruce Francis:

Bill?? future is Live

Dead code fills today?? coffers

Microsoft?? tough choice

Life at Oracle

Old software must rest

Bingo games, chamomile tea

Larry?? Shady Pines

Life at Oracle

Old software must rest

Bingo games, chamomile tea

Safra cashes checks

Redwood Shores Elegy

Old software winds down

Bingo games, chamomile tea

Oracle?? grand plan

Posted by: steve hamm at January 5, 2006 06:23 PM

(taken from correspondence about three months ago)...

But first, I digress --

I've been reading this ev'ning

I'm going to training

and it helps to be prepared;


But this book is [yawn]

Microsoft Press equals bad

Read and grind your teeth

No more interface,

handler class, context and module...

No more acronyms


Inconsistencies built-in

and then defended

As if it's designed!

As if it's the coming of

sliced bread, the sequel

But the best part is

An example given, then

Cited as "don't do"

Yeah. That's instructive.

Or the pipeline diagrammed

in OO form. Swell.

And they wonder why

people resist their bloatware

and monopoly

Posted by: thedurst at January 6, 2006 01:58 PM

wet interfacing

the idiots playing at life

myspacing lovers

Posted by: Rhizomantic at January 9, 2006 06:53 AM

An entry for Ye Olde Tech Haiku contest:

No breath of fresh air

comes from the open windows

on my computer.

- Bill Warriner

Posted by: Bill Warriner at January 12, 2006 06:32 PM

Run your big web app

On some sorry Linux box?

That's ridiculous

Don't know where to turn?


The mainframe kicks ass

Once old but now new

Possibilities immense

Learn it, grasshopper

What's your response time?

Eh? What? How many seconds?

Meet your SLA

Don't teach it at school

Experience is required

Sorry. Please try again.

What this means to you

If you aren't hip to the old

You're behind the times

If data matters

Then mainframe is your sole choice

Open your wallet

Mainframe is z9

Used to be called zSeries

Nothing else will do

It is so simple

I don't know if you can hang

Please just step aside

Posted by: Aaron Walker at January 20, 2006 08:50 AM

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