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Businessweek Archives

The World According To Gump


Up Front

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GUMP

Even many people who haven't seen the movie know what Forrest Gump has to say about chocolates. The true cognoscenti, however, can pick through Winston Groom's 1986 novel and his new Gumpisms for even more quirky quotes to live by. Our Top 10:

10) Never wear a belt and suspenders at the same time: People might think you are paranoid.

9) Beware of people that put numbers after their names.

8) Life can be one big toilet, so for all of our sakes, don't make waves.

7) Most people don't look dumb till they start talkin'.

6) Do not suck your thumb--or anyone else's for that matter.

5) Don't ever pick a fight with somebody that's really ugly lookin'.

4) Remember this: While somebody is down there kissin' your butt, they could just as easily be bitin' it, too.

3) If you want to be popular, do not engage in child molestin' or line dancin'.

2) Don't lick nothin' that's gonna stick to your tongue.

1) Some people, like me, are born idiots, but many more become stupider as they go along.Ronald Grover


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