Nov. 20 (Bloomberg) -- Don't be fooled by Disney's mermaid cartoons. The mythological creatures are evil. Half-woman, half- fish, they use their beauty to lure fishermen to their death, often by whirlpool. So when a restaurant called the Mermaid Inn opened on Manhattan's Upper West Side, I was naturally suspicious.

Here's the temptation: ambitious fish-shack fare at cheap prices. Not a single entree above $24. Appetizers around $10. And free dessert. Result? The people come in droves. We waited 50 minutes as walk-ins.

So what's the catch? None of the tasty fare is life- changing. And there are missteps.

It's all a near-clone of owner Danny Abrams's original location in Manhattan's East Village. Expect similar quirks here. Restroom signs request you refrain from throwing into toilets ``anything you have not already eaten,'' including ``regular or designer underwear (bikinis, grannies, g-strings, thongs, briefs or boxers).''

Paper placemats are photocopied pages of an old seafood encyclopedia. (Read about a woman ogling her priest's tuna omelet -- recipe included.)

``American Fish. Eat us instead of meat,'' advises a dining room poster. How appropriate. Our pork sausage was dry. It came with grilled oysters. The Blue Points were just warmed through, enough to plump up their briny succulence.

Go Cheap

The $24 lobster sandwich should be avoided if you like either lobster or sandwiches. A thin layer of the shellfish -- already overwhelmed by onions -- was overpowered by thick slices of brioche.

Stick with cheaper, smaller items, like $9 fish soup (spiked with a garlicky aioli) and $10 gnocchi (brightened by smoky chilies).

Skip the monkfish (dry, underseasoned) and the crispy skate (drowned in a salty broth).

Make a light meal out of mussels -- only eight bucks! They swim in a nutmeg-spiced broth (the mollusks are better in the East Village, where they're served with drawn butter for extra cholesterol). Wash them down with a spicy elixir -- lemon juice, whiskey and ginger ale.

Warning: Bartenders didn't use jiggers to measure spirits, so cocktails can be a tad strong and slightly unbalanced. A pomegranate margarita, barely sweetened, tasted like pure tequila.

No dessert menu. Sorry. Every diner instead gets an espresso-sized cup of chocolate pudding. How very summer camp.

Dinner for two -- lots of food plus wine -- cost $136. Dinner for one -- two dishes plus an excellent Bloody Mary -- cost $38.

Mermaid Inn is at 568 Amsterdam Ave., near 87th Street. Information: +1-212-799-7400.

Another One?

Here's a pop quiz. Pick out the new hot spot: Smith's. B. Smith's. Smith & Mills. Smith & Wollensky. Smith's Bar.

Smith's is the correct answer.

Think people will be confused? Think again. The place is packed. And for what it's worth, Smith's comes up as No. 18 on a Google search. Not bad for the most popular surname in America. Danny Abrams must have friends in high places.

Yes, the man behind the brand-new Mermaid Inn has brought us a second venue in three weeks. The modern-American Smith's is the pricier -- and better -- of the two.

Made in the U.S.A.

The cozy eatery feels like an old-fashioned rail car. An Amtrak-thin corridor has booths on one side, tables on the other. Pastel green velvet covers the walls; a bar lies in back, filled with slinky black dresses and iPhones.

Order a glass of J Brut -- a bright, lemony, American sparkler that puts quite a few champagnes to shame.

Smith's is quite swank despite its location in the center of Greenwich Village -- right by New York University. Soho must be creeping north.

Order the duo of pork; arguably the swine dish of the year. My boneless chop was mid-rare inside -- rightly so. A spill of celery root and apple puree helped cut the richness. Braised pork cheeks waited nearby, so tender a high-pitched voice could have shredded them.

I don't recall a better lobster dish in 2007 than the one chef Pablo Romero has concocted here. The crustacean is grilled, imparting a gently smoky flavor. It lies atop a lobster consomme; the rich sauce impregnates Brussels sprouts with an intense taste of the sea.

Try the steamed egg. It spills out onto a bowl of creamy polenta. I almost forgot my artichoke fettuccine was overcooked, the perfume of black truffles clouded my judgment.

Sub-$20 foie gras is often gray and livery. The $16 version here is pink and silky (albeit with a bit of sinew).

Only autumn panna cotta was a failure -- an overdose of pumpkin prevented the pudding from jiggling or wiggling like it should. Meyer lemon tart balanced the sweet and sour with aplomb.

Dinner for two, plus two glasses of wine, cost $138.

Smith's is at 79 MacDougal St., near Bleecker. Information: +1-212-260-0100.

(Ryan Sutton is a writer for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are his own.)

To contact the writer of this story: Ryan Sutton in New York at rsutton1@bloomberg.net.

Last Updated: November 20, 2007 00:02 EST