Oct. 4 (Bloomberg) -- Though it lasted only 30 minutes, the premiere of ABC's ``Cavemen'' sitcom seemed as interminable -- and about as funny -- as the Stone Age. A spinoff from those clever Geico commercials, the series better undergo some speedy evolution if it wants to avoid imminent extinction.

Tuesday night's debut played off the commercials, where sensitive, hairy Neanderthals are continuously offended by the slogan, ``So easy a caveman can do it.''

The story unfolds in San Diego, where Andy (Sam Huntington), Nick (Nick Kroll) and Joel (Bill English) live together in an apartment. While they all look alike, each guy possesses a distinct personality beneath his shaggy beard and greasy mane.

Nick is a cynical hustler and sexist, warning his friends to steer clear of female Homo sapiens. ``Keep your penis in your genus,'' he advises in the funniest line of the night, though one you had to wait an eternity to hear.

Andy is a passive hairball, while Joel's broad and somewhat lumpy forehead protects a brain fired by contemporary virtues: sensitivity, inclusiveness and a mastodon-sized libido.

These being modern times, a caveman on the make need not resort to clubbing his prey and dragging her home by the hair. In fact, contemporary women apparently find the primitive types more attractive than the local surfer-boy population.

Stone Age studs, as it were.

King Kong

Indeed, Joel has caught the feral eye of a blonde named Kate (Kaitlin Doubleday). ``Kate's a sape,'' is the second- funniest line of the night, with the third-funniest impossible to recall. Most of the lines are of the tepid variety, such as Kate's reaction to seeing a caveman for the first time. ``Oh my God,'' she exults, ``you are all hair!'' Maybe Fay Wray thought the same thing about King Kong.

The show's non-cavemen aren't a good advertisement for evolution. The apartment manager is something of a human pterodactyl, squawking that ``maybe one of you guys should tie a piece of colored ribbon in your hair'' for easy identification, as if the cave guys were airline luggage.

The show does end on a note of moral uplift.

Though Nick accuses Kate of anti-caveman prejudice, it turns out she's dated the hairy dudes before, along with about 18,000 other guys. Her openness seems to have a softening effect on Nick, who perhaps will put aside his own prejudices and make a play for the apartment manager.

He'd better act fast. Like an overweight jogger, ``Cavemen'' appears to be headed for a short run.

(Dave Shiflett is a critic for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are his own.)

To contact the writer of this story: Dave Shiflett at dshifl@aol.com.

Last Updated: October 4, 2007 00:03 EDT