Dec. 27 (Bloomberg) -- The knives are out and France is ready to shuck.

``It's our tradition to eat more oysters than anywhere else in the world,'' says Helene Souil, curator of the Oyster Museum in the Atlantic coastal oyster-breeding hamlet of Marenne.

Oyster Museum records indicate the French annually down some 130,000 tons of ``huitres,'' with about 60,000 of those slurped during the year-end holiday season. Nowhere are opinions on where to seek out the finest more of a contentious affair than in Paris.

An oyster safari is a scrumptious foray in a city that for centuries has boasted hundreds of brasseries and tapis francs (thieves' dens) known for ``les huitres droites, separees, rondes et dures'' (oysters elevated, separated, round and firm.)

Although the Americans claim the world team shuck record (16,745 oysters in 11 hours in 2003 at McCormick & Schmick's in Chicago), the bushels stacked high around the entrance to L'Huitrier restaurant are where 2006 French singles champion Francisco Pieres hones his blade and the best place to start.

``There are essentially two kinds of oysters, flat-shelled, nutty tasting belons from Brittany and the deep-shelled sweeter tasting creuses from the southwest,'' Pieres, 34, explains. He serves up a half-dozen green and meaty ``Les Pousses Enclaires'' creuse oysters prepared to be washed down with a 32 euro ($42) bottle of a crisp Sancerre Vincent Pinard Cuvee Flores 2005.

L'Huitrier's prices are right, too. An iced plate of rich No. 0 belons costs 40 euros a dozen, while a dozen delicate No. 2 fines de claires runs 46 euros. The lower the number, the bigger the oyster, the more massive the munch.

Muddy Waters

As Pieres tells it, perhaps the most delicate of all French oysters are Mediterranean bouziques from the village of Marseillan along the Etang de Thau, a shallow and muddy salt-water lake that connects to the sea through a series of canals. Rare and robust in taste, bouziques account for only 10 percent of French production and were a favorite among the ancient Romans.

Regardless of origin, a plucked oyster can retain its health and flavor for more than a week, so long as it's kept at between 2 to 10 degrees Celsius or 35 to 50 degrees Fahrenheit.

``Belons are always the most difficult to open, so extra care must be taken,'' says Pieres, whose French record stands at 100 oysters shucked in 6 minutes and 6 seconds according to the Comite National de la Conchyliculture, France's national shellfish commission.

``There is no secret to opening an oyster,'' Pieres adds, rubbing his thumb over the fatty flesh of a large belon. ``It's done gently, with a strong knife. Then you must look. See how the massage seeps water from the meat?'' the champion ``ecailler,'' or shucker, says. ``Bad oysters emerge from the shell dry or dark.''

More Is More

Pieres's oysters are bright, fat and wonderful, the result of daily deliveries from the coast, his steady hand and his refusal to use any of the many modern contraptions that promise to make the ecailler's job less labor-intensive.

When the bivalves are poor and the waiters incompetent, Parisians are sometimes heard exclaiming ``Bouh!'' (``yuck'') and saying, ``The oysters are foul and the servants are ugly,'' the curse first delivered by the oyster-eating skeptic Grantaire in Victor Hugo's ``Les Miserables.''

``Bouh'' sums up the situation at Le Vaudeville, the stylish and popular brasserie across the street from the Paris Bourse.

Designed in the 1920s by the Solvent Brothers, the architects who also built La Coupole and La Closerie des Lilas, where Ernest Hemingway's appetites and writings contributed to oyster lore and literature, Le Vaudeville has been transformed into a gigantic art-deco museum of mahogany, seafood and engraved glass.

Let's Talk About Sex

Nowadays, the brasserie is a testament to what happens when filling seats is more important than properly opening oysters.

Arriving at the table overpriced and without their shells fully scrubbed before opening, Le Vaudeville's selection of No. 1 speciales gillardeau from Arcachon (46 euros) and No. 000 belon ``Pogets'' (60 euros) retained a modest tang of the sea, more mushy than crunchy, palatable thanks to glasses of a young and creamy 2004 Meursault Genevrieres 1er Cru from Bouchard Pere & Fils.

``The mild sea taste of Le Vaudeville's oysters shouldn't impact their aphrodisiacal effect,'' says Gary Selden, author of the 1979 book ``Aphrodisia, A Guide to Sexual Foods.''

``Oysters are the richest source of zinc, and the body can't make sex hormones without it,'' Selden says. ``Of course, there's the old vaudeville routine about the wife who went to a restaurant with her husband for a dozen oysters, and then came back the next day to complain that six of them didn't work.''

For those seeking the best Paris has to offer, the eight tiny tables and large blue jugs of a nameless and spicy Pouilly wine inside the crowded storefront oyster shack Huitrerie Garnier in the 16th arrondissement offers a ringside seat to succulence.

All of Garnier's moist and juicy oysters are flawlessly shucked rough-shelled creuses from Marenne. Nine sizes are on offer, a selection of perfection that demands a half-dozen of each be sampled before deciding on a favorite to bring home in a sack.

Pay particular attention to the No. 2 speciales fines de claires at 29 euros and the No. 3 speciales blanches at 25 euros.

And don't be shy about asking for extra napkins. You'll need them.

L'Huitrier, 16 Rue Saussier-Leroy, 75017. Tel. +33-1-4054- 8344. Le Vaudeville, 29 Rue Vivienne, 75002. Tel. +33-1-4020-0462. Huitrerie Garnier, 117 Avenue Mozart, 75016. Tel. +33-1-4050-1727.

(A. Craig Copetas is a writer for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are his own.)

To contact the reporter on this story: A. Craig Copetas in Paris at ccopetas@bloomberg.net.

Last Updated: December 27, 2006 00:09 EST