June 16 (Bloomberg) -- Sex may be fun, but doing it for a living is hard work. ``Secret Diary of A Call Girl,'' a surprisingly unsteamy Showtime miniseries that debuts tonight at 10:30 p.m. New York time, reminds us why.

Inspired by the books and blog of a hooker named Belle, the British production is already a hit in the U.K. This is real ``Sex and the City,'' without the Manolos and cosmos.

Belle, played by Billie Piper, is a plain-spoken professional.

``The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a whore,'' she says, though she quickly adds, ``I'm very high class.''

Belle is certainly no skank. She has a pretty face and the right shapes in the right places. She professes two loves, sex and money, though not in that order. Belle says she charges ``a lot'' for her services, but exact prices are apparently reserved for her customers.

Like most good businesswomen, Belle follows a set of rules. At the top of the list is getting paid up front. Other tricks of the trade: stay in control, practice good hygiene and wear men's deodorant. A hooker doesn't want to send a customer home smelling like a dame, she explains.

The half-hour show features lackluster sex with some unimpressive partners. Though she hands them a toothbrush and a towel before encounters, the johns don't always clean up so well.

Moans, Shrieks

Her first client, for instance, is a sallow fellow with long sideburns and minimal muscle tone. That he and Belle are in the same room, much less the same bed, is a stirring reminder of money's power to bring people together. She takes him where he wants to go, leaving him nearly in need of a defibrillator.

Belle also serves a younger, more sensitive customer who has trouble getting started. He eventually gets what he came for, thanks to Belle's theatrical moaning and shrieking.

Belle is up front with her customers but not with family members, who think she works as a legal secretary. This sticky situation will be explored in future episodes. (Eight shows are scheduled to be shown this year.)

``Secret Diary'' present a fairly sterile picture of the sex trade. Missing are the grittier aspects like mean drunks, violent pimps and the constant fear of contracting a deadly disease.

It does, however, capture the wacky side of prostitution. The premiere ends with a customer donning a saddle and getting taken for a ride by Belle, crop in hand. We're reminded that humans are rarely more humorous than when amorous.

(Dave Shiflett is a critic for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are his own.)

To contact the writer of this story: Dave Shiflett at dshifl@aol.com.

Last Updated: June 16, 2008 00:01 EDT