Sept. 4 (Bloomberg) -- OK, so it’s going to be a really short speech.

We’re talking about Sarah Palin’s maiden voyage to Hong Kong this month to enlighten a premier investment conference on prospects for a region she has never visited. That is, if she shows up. The former U.S. vice presidential wannabe has a well- documented track record of reneging on speaking gigs.

It seems a win-win. Palin gets another stamp in her rather thin passport and pads her world experience. “Saturday Night Live” comedian Tina Fey once said in a sketch that Palin could see Russia from her house; maybe now she can claim Palin has a view of mainland China. CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets, at whose Sept. 21-25 event Palin will speak, will get tons of coverage. Never mind if it’s of the did-she-really-say-that? kind.

What in the world is CLSA thinking? Other than introducing her audience to folksy colloquialisms such as “you betcha,” “you’re darn tootin’” or tips on field dressing a moose, it’s hard to know what intellectual fortitude she will add at an event attended by 1,300 fund managers from 32 countries managing more than $10 trillion of assets.

Presumably, Fey couldn’t be there to do her impression of Palin. The ill-fated attempt by the Republican Party to keep Barack Obama out of the White House is of some interest. Insights about Palin’s relationship with running mate Senator John McCain may carry her a bit. Yet these seem like tidbits better shared in Washington or New York than in the fastest- growing economic region.

In High Demand

CLSA spokeswoman Simone Wheeler wouldn’t say if or how much Palin will be paid. Given that Palin, according to Politico.com, has received 1,070 invitations, I’m figuring CLSA is making the trip worth her while. If Palin shows up, here’s a preview of what CLSA’s buttoned-down overachievers may hear from America’s most famous Republican woman:

Hello Hong Kong! How ya doin’? You know, I want to thank you Hong Kongians for being such gracious hosts. And I want to thank you for explaining to me how this country is now a part of China again. Wow, who knew? Anyhoo, it’s nice to be here. And I’m lovin’ the food. Had me some of that feng shui stuff for breakfast this morning. Jeez, that was tasty!

Arriving at your superduper airport was a shock for two reasons. The first, it’s really modern for Asia, home to so many developing people. Anyone who’s been to JFK in New York or Dulles near Washington knows what I’m talking about. Good goin’ guys! Second, everyone looked so surprised to see me -- like I wasn’t gonna show up. There they go again, listening to the liberal media back home that I don’t honor my commitments.

Palin in Asia

Now, let me mention why I quit as Alaska governor 18 months early. I believe in putting America first, no offense to my Chinese hosts, and you people in Asia can learn from my patriotic example. I thought the presidential campaign was really, like, not fun. It wasn’t what I expected. OK, so being on “Saturday Night Live” was a hoot. And all those fancy election events were pretty cool. But a maverick like me likes to do more to get in there and mess with the Washington establishment. That goes for the world, too.

A maverick like me could have stayed in Wasilla or Juneau and served out her full term for 700,000 Alaskans -- or I could come here and talk directly to 7 million Hong Kong folks. You do the math!

Vantage Point

You know, Hong Kong and Alaska are a lot alike, really. I mean I don’t see myself grabbing a rifle and hunting up there on Victoria Peak -- though, what a vantage point! Both places have lots of ferry boats. Both were seen as outposts on the way to bigger places. And both places are all about economic freedom.

Because as you good folks well know, economic freedom is under assault. In my country, President Obama wants to turn America into a socialist state with his government-controlled health care, death panels and no more free choice. It’s like he’s trying to turn the greatest economy in history into a communist, uuuhhhhh, I mean, you know -- less of a free-market place. As I have said before, only dead fish go with the flow. I’m no dead fish. And since Hong Kong is surrounded by a big lake, I reckon you’ll see what I’m gettin’ at.

I understand that the business of Hong Kong is business. I love it. Back home, the Washington establishment is waging a war against business -- and the free and unfettered markets that have made my countrypeople so wealthy. What Washington and the media will never understand is that it’s about country first. Which is why I quit Alaska and came abroad.

Whoops, sorry, I got all carried away. I’m supposed to offer something useful to you investment types in Asia to practice your freedom in the markets. Some thought-provocative nuggets about this here Asian decade. Well, luckily, I’m all out of time. Thank you, Hong Kong. You guys rock!

(William Pesek is a Bloomberg News columnist. The opinions expressed are his own.)

To contact the writer of this column: William Pesek in Tokyo at wpesek@bloomberg.net

Last Updated: September 3, 2009 15:00 EDT